Are you living life or just existing?
What are the relationships you have with others?
Do you feel appreciated? Are you appreciating others?
How are you showing up in Your Life?
Last October, I attended the funeral of a man who gave up too quickly on life. Yet his funeral was very well-attended by many loved ones. It was a sad day for me to see such a show of people for a man who didn’t appreciate what he had. (See full blog here and how together the transitioned man and I sat through his funeral).
Last week another man passed. He was older than the man in October. His wife had passed over many years before. She felt more close to her mother, who lived with them, than her husband. When the mother died, the wife soon followed.
This man was simple man, not college-educated and grew up on Long Island, NY, the son of a florist. He inherited the florist business from his father, who really hadn’t taught him much about business. The man had four sons, his wife and his mother-in-law. They moved to Florida and continued the florist business in a Central Florida mall. It was mildly successful.
One of his sons met a woman he fell in love with and they subsequently dated and got married. They had two children and have been married for over 30 years now. This son was one of the oldest of the four and went to college. I can tell you that his wife appreciates her husband and did everything she could to make sure her husband wasn’t like her father-in-law.
Because her father-in-law would not participate in life. He had no friends. He never talked with anyone. If you struck up a conversation with him, his answers were one-worded if not a mumble. After family dinners, he would go and sit in front of the TV and then go to bed, without a word to anyone. He had no friends and his family learned to tolerate him. His sons tried to drag him into life by inviting him to vacations but he never wanted to go and if he did, he sat like a bump on a log in a corner. I asked his wife if he was shy; she was convinced he was not shy. He simply didn’t want to be by himself.
When he passed last week, no one but the small amount of family left showed up to the memorial service. They toasted their father, their grandfather and brother, sharing what little of him that they knew. He hadn’t left them much to talk about. He was loved, but very few, by choice.
And so another soul returns to Heaven to face their life and its consequences. This soul chose not to be present in the world. To me, this is a life wasted. This man did not live life, he simply existed. He checked out too early, although he made it to his mid-seventies.
How are you treating your life? Are you a participant or simply existing? Are you appreciating others? Are you appreciating yourself? What type of relationships do you have with other people? Positive? Negative?
How can you show up differently today?
Too many people live in fear, with low self-esteem and never really life a full life. And while luckily you can get to repeat your life as much as want, there are consequences for such action as well as consequences within the life you choose not to live. You leave others behind, for one.
The four sons of this man who just passed over are now angry at their father. Each one will have to process that anger in their own way and fashion. Anger is part of the grieving process. They are angry because their father didn’t want to live his life.
Are you living your life? If you aren’t and you need help, find it. There’s plenty of free help out there between social services and religious organizations. If you haven’t appreciated life, start doing so today. The best way to start is to get together with some friends. Don’t have friends? Why not? Pick up the classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People” and learn how to make friends. It’s a classic for a reason. If you have friends, go have dinner with them. Laugh, love, eat and be merry!
You are a unique individual in this lifetime, with much to contribute. Life is meant to be lived. Please go live it. So people like me can’t stop writing blogs about people who give up too soon.
Love and Light Always,
Blake Cahoon, Founder
Illuminated Engagements Centre for Whole-Being
Home to the Divine Guidance Team
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