Last week we talked about the drama versus the peace in your life. I used my scared cat story as example of the possibility of a story being over dramatized. But I also used the scared cat story as a further example about human behavior.
To enhance your memory, during my recent move, upon attempting to transport my cat, the poor dear became terrified of being put into a cat carrier and lashed out in defending herself by biting me hard on my hand. My hand survived, but it was heart breaking to see my cat so frighten. She got over the whole incident within hours and once she was over her fear, life became an adventure again for her, as she explored our new home, inside and out.
But my point here is to point out that when backed into a corner and frighten, animals lash out. And so do humans.
We are frightful of so many things in our lives –from not having a regular paycheck to not having someone special love us; to losing a loved one to old age, illness or accident to being homeless; to not having enough food to not being loved by people who should or could love us; to worrying about what our government will do next. We are constantly worrying, fussing and fuming over the “small stuff” even when we’re told not to sweat over it. And if we’re not worrying about the small stuff, we worry about the big stuff – our nightly TV dramas and reality shows depict how much we worry about life!
We worry and we worry because we are afraid. And when we are afraid—we lash out in fear with a variety of behaviors, both dramatic and subtle. The opposite of love is fear, not hate. Hate stems from fear—often the fear of being different from others.
We all want to fit in, be liked and loved and to matter and to be accepted. The angels can tell you you’re loved by God until the cows come home—but unless you feel loved, liked and accepted in your world, you will be search of these feelings until you find them. And you will be afraid until you are validated. You will act out in many ways, from getting sick and dis-eased to arguing, procrastinating, from staying away from others, from making excuses why you can’t do this or that, by escaping into TV, game playing or gossip, or belittling and criticizing others. More extreme behaviors are lying, thieving, larceny and murder. All of these behaviors and more come from a base feeling of fear.
So how do you begin to feel liked, loved, wanted and accepted? How do you get over your base feeling of fear?
By starting to recognize fear-based emotions that you currently hold and behaviors that aren’t getting you where you want to truly be. You have to start looking at yourself objectively and honestly. You have to start by being honest with yourself —and yes, with others.
Your behavior is triggered by your emotions. Your emotions rule your life and cause your life to be the way it is. Don’t like your life the way it is? Change your behaviors, your habits and your beliefs, which in turn will change your emotions and subsequently your life.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is your life. But by taking baby steps starting today, you can have a better tomorrow. You can stop living in fear and realize that life was meant to be an adventure, full of wonderful experiences that allow you to expand in joyous ways. My cat got over her fear and found new animals to chase and try and catch including chipmunks and squirrels. (Note: she chases; she doesn’t catch). But until she got over her fear, she sat literally in a corner, scared to move.
Are you sitting in a corner scared or lashing out in anger and fear or are you enjoying your life?
Hopefully it’s a balance. Our journey is never over—that’s truly part of the joy of life—once you look at it from a different perspective.
Start looking at your fears and see if you can’t look at the situation that’s holding you back, from a different angle. You may be surprised at what you find!
With Light and Love Always,
Blake Cahoon and the Divine Guidance Team
Illuminated Engagements Centre for Whole-Being
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